Country Living...Island Dreaming

May 3, 2013

Mommy Guilt and a Nice Compliment

As parents, I think we second guess ourselves...a lot.
Well at least I do.

Are they eating healthy enough?
Are they getting enough sleep?
Are they over scheduled?
Are they spending too much time on video games?
Am I being too overprotective?
Am I letting them get away with too much?
Am I being the best mom I can be?

The list could go on and on.

This week I had some of those situations.  My 6 year old came down with a fever Monday morning and I kept him home from school.  The fever continued, but since kids get fevers, I just kept taking care of him.  Then he mentioned his throat hurt.  I started thinking it could be strep since his fever wouldn't go down without Advil.  So, before he woke up Wednesday morning, I made a doctor's appointment for later than morning.  When he came downstairs that morning his fever was finally gone but I wanted to get a throat culture anyway.  Yes, he ended up having strep throat!  Ugh.  We started him on antibiotics and he was back to school the next day.

I felt guilty for letting him suffer for that time period without getting him checked right away.  I talked to a friend who told me that she brings her kids to the doctor as soon as they come down with a fever.  Then I really felt guilty!  But I guess what is done is done.  As least he is better now!  I just wish my mommy instinct had clicked in a little earlier so he didn't have to miss 3 days of school!  Sometimes it is so hard to know the right thing to do.  Now of course I feel like the rest of the family members are ticking time bombs waiting for strep to strike one of us!

I hate when that mommy guilt
makes me feel like I am not going a good job!

I even had more mommy guilt when I lost my temper with the two of them for acting up that night when they should have been doing their homework.  My older son had been bringing homework home for my strep-infected 6 year old so he could keep up with his schoolwork.  I guess it was a combination of the little one feeling better and the 9 year old feeling jealous for all the attention the little sickie was getting.  The two of them were fighting almost constantly and not listening to a word I was saying.  I started yelling and threatening to take away just about everything they owned.  They didn't care, they just kept at each other.  It was even more upsetting for me because my husband was away traveling and I was sleep deprived from waking up each night to control the fever.  So I yelled and then I felt mad at myself afterwards for not handling them in a calmer way.

Yes, more mommy guilt...

But I am proud to say, the mommy guilt was almost erased yesterday!  

My friend called me to tell me that she volunteered to help out at an assembly at school.  They invited a  beekeeper to come in and teach the kids about bees and honey etc.  My friend was one of the moms in charge of giving each child a taste of honey.  She wanted me to know that out of the entire 3rd grade, MY SON was the only one who said thank you when she passed out the sample of honey!  She was so impressed that she expressed to the group how nice it was that he said thank you!  Of course a few behind him followed with a "thank you" but she figured it was only because of the fuss she made.  I was so proud of him and so grateful that she called to tell me that sweet story.  It made me feel like I was at least doing something right in the parenting department!

Do you second guess yourself or have mommy guilt from time to time?


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7 comments

  1. Aww your poor baby! Practically every time I don't take my kids to the dr. about a sickness it ends up being something, and when I DO take them, nothing! Murphy's Law.
    I am much kinder to myself than I used to be. I used to feel a lot of mommy guilt, for losing my temper and being cross with the kids, but you know what - I am proud of who they are turning out to be and I do the best I can. My parenting is not perfect but I am giving them every ounce of love I have in me, even if I make mistakes along the way. It sounds to me like you are a very thoughtful, loving, present mom and your boys are lucky to have you!

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  2. I think second guessing yourself is a sign that you ARE a good mommy. I know I have "moments" but you are right - when someone tells me how sweet and polite my children are (which happens quite frequently), it warms my heart. We must be doing something right.

    You are not alone. Glad to hear your son is on the mend.

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  3. You are an amazing mommy!!!!

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  4. You are clearly a great mom who is raising them right! You should be proud :)
    Stacy

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  5. That's nothing...my son injured his finger playing basketball...I said "it will heal" when it hurt the second day I took him to the doctor and sure enough it was broken.

    Congrats for having a polite boy.

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  6. This is so sweet S, I know how you feel. The best compliments are from others about your children. You sound like a normal, terrific loving and caring MOM. Don't ever second guess yourself.
    xo Nancy
    Powellbrowerhome.com

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  7. it is hard but you have to not let the guilt get to you. You are doing a great job with your boys!!!

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